Accursed
by EllieV
Summary: A prequel to Pariahs from Matt Scott's point of view


_Don't own SGU but will own half the first season on DVD in a week:  
does that count?_

_For Edwina, who harasses me in the nicest possible way!_

**Accursed  
A prequel to Pariahs  
By EllieV**

There was, Matt Scott decided, nothing worthwhile at the end of the universe. Desert one day, ice the next: inhospitable all the time. Destiny had dropped out of FTL and had dialed the gate but there was nothing here. No food, no water. Even Rush looked bored. It was like walking through the Grand Canyon, only with green walls. The weather was dry and hot and a sweating Volker said a little desperately, all uptight in his suit, that given the greenness of the surrounds it would have to rain sometime. Greer suggested laconically that perhaps Volker should just take off his jacket.

It was Rush who stumbled first. It was innocuous. He didn't fall and waved off Greer's helping hand.

"It's just a stone," Rush said. He sat and began unlacing the boot. "I'll catch up."

Scott glanced back as they rounded the corner. Rush was shaking out the boot. He pulled out his water bottle and took a drink, the boot lying on the ground next to him.

They kept walking. The talk was desultory as the terrain became increasingly rocky despite the greenery. Volker tripped; so did James. They all did at some point. Chloe stumbled badly and putting out a hand to save herself, yelped as she hit the ground. She held her wrist gingerly and rubbed her knees with her other hand.

Scott knelt beside her.

"Hey," he said soothingly. "You okay?"

"I don't think I brought along the right set of clothes for intergalactic exploration," she said shakily. "Hiking boots would have been better."

Chloe was dressed in their combat gear but good fitting boots had proved to be a problem. She wore half a size too big and thick socks but still, it wasn't the best. She pulled up her pants. Her knees were just scraped but her wrist seemed badly jarred and her ankle was twisted.

"Lieutenant," Greer said uneasily. "I can't see Rush."

James said, "He should have caught up by now."

Scott didn't need this.

"There's nothing here," he said. "Let's head back and pick Rush up on the way."

Chloe hobbled as best she could with Scott's arm around her. It took twice as long to get back to where they'd left Rush but there was no sign of him. Scott swore.

"Rush didn't have a radio," James put in as Scott lifted his to call the scientist.

"What?" Scott said. "Why not?"

"We're not to be trusted with radios," Volker said brightly, an edge to his voice and a thoroughly fake smile on his face. "Can't trust scientists with military stuff."

"Shut up, Volker," Scott snapped.

Shit. He hesitated for a moment.

"He probably just spotted something interesting and took off," Greer suggested.

"Yeah, well, he shouldn't have," Scott said disgruntled. "Uh, James, Greer, have a look around. Back here in fifteen."

"Sir," James said.

She'd been so neutral around him she was almost grey. Scott felt a moment's resentment. It had been sex and she'd known that from the start. It was only sex.

He waited impatiently for them to come back. Greer arrived shaking his head. James walked slowly and from ten yards away held up Rush's water bottle. Her eyes were big and dark as she came towards them.

"It's empty," she said.

"What the hell is he playing at," Scott said annoyed. Fucking hell. He rubbed his head. "Well, we better look for him." Chloe cleared her throat pointedly. "Uh, okay, Volker, you stay here with Chloe. Greer, that way; James, you go that way"—he pointed randomly—"and I'll go that way. Stay in touch via the radio. Meet back here in twenty minutes."

"And if he comes back?" Volker asked. "We don't have radios remember."

"I dunno," Scott said. "Shout."

"Shout," Volker repeated. He grimaced. "Great."

It wasn't until much later, when they'd got back on board that Scott realized no one had been at all worried about Rush wandering off. They were just pissed at him.

There was no sign of Rush anywhere.

Scott radioed Greer and James and suggested they head back to Chloe and Volker. He broke into a run when he heard shouting. This wasn't hey, Rush is back, this was panic. Volker raced towards him.

"I don't know what happened," the astrophysicist said, terror in his voice. "All I was walk down the canyon a little. We heard a noise."

Scott stared at the rock where Rush then Chloe had been sitting. There was no sign of her.

"You left her alone?" Scott said.

He didn't mean to sound accusing but Volker said, "I walked down there about 15 yards. She was just behind me. She was talking to me. I turned back and she wasn't there."

Scott bit his lip trying not to panic himself.

"Okay," he said. "Uh, Greer, you head back to the gate and report in. We need more people. Volker, go with him."

"I can help search," Volker objected.

"Get back to the ship," Scott snapped. "That's an order." Volker opened his mouth and Scott said, "Don't tell me I can't order you around."

Volker said stubbornly, "I know you want to find Ms Armstrong, Lieutenant, but my team leader is missing, too."

This wasn't the time to get into Rush not being in charge of the science team however much he and they liked to think so. Scott had never got the impression that Volker even respected, let alone liked Rush but all he said was, "You're the best person to brief the Colonel, Mr Volker. You were here when it happened. Please."

"I'm coming back," Volker insisted.

He didn't, of course. Instead marines poured through the gate, the Colonel included. TJ had a medical kit slung over her shoulder, her eyes wide and scared. They split into teams and fanned out.

They found Rush first.

"Here, here," Greer shouted.

Scott found him crouched over an unconscious Rush who was huddled under a small outcrop. Rush's boot was missing. Whatever happened, Rush hadn't even had the time to put his boot back on. Scott looked around puzzled.

"Is there a river nearby?" he asked.

Rush was wet. Soaked to the skin and despite the heat, it was as if he'd fallen into water and had got out just before they found him.

"Didn't see any river," said Greer. "There's no water around here at all."

His skin should have been drying off but rivulets of water ran down Rush's face.

TJ arrived and knelt by his side.

"Why is he wet?" she asked. "Dr Rush? Hey, come on. Dr Rush?" She patted him on the cheek. "Come on now."

Rush stirred under her cajoling and his eyes blinked open. He drew in a shuddering gulp of air and tried to lift himself up. Scott and Greer reached out for him. Rush's eyes widened but Scott didn't think he was even seeing them. As soon as they touched him Rush flung himself backwards scrambling out of reach, his breath short and panicked. As if he thought they were going to hit him.

"What the f …? Scott said. He cut himself off.

TJ shoved them out of the way, her hands out in a calming gesture.

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay," she said, her voice soothing. "Dr Rush, it's us, okay. No one's going to hurt you."

She kept talking and Rush eventually focused on her. He looked down at himself confused. He coughed, bringing up water.

"What the hell happened, Rush?" Young's voice demanded.

Scott winced at the harshness in his voice. Rush shook his head. He coughed again. More water.

"Where's Chloe?" Young asked, standing over him.

"What?" Rush asked with a bewilderedness that made Scott nervous.

He stared upwards blankly as if he had no idea who any of them were. TJ knelt down next to him and patted his arm. Rush flinched and shifted away from her.

"What do you remember?" she asked softly.

Rush shook his head and winced, putting up one hand to hold it.

"I had …" he said hesitantly. "I had a stone in my boot."

His eyes flickered back and forth and Scott suddenly understood that Rush wasn't used to not remembering things. The scientist drew his legs up to his chest and coughed.

"Get him back to the ship," Young ordered.

Rush recoiled from the hands offering to help and dragged himself up.

"Colonel, I found her," James' urgent voice came through the radio. "I found her. She's all wet. She's soaking wet."

Everyone looked at Rush, dripping water, his hands splayed out, water running down. He limped after them, over the stones, the green of the canyon walls belying the rockiness of the ground. They hurried, Rush falling behind. He stood well behind them when they reached Chloe. As Scott flung himself down beside her he glanced at Rush. He was looking at the ground. Even at that distance Scott could see the water. As hot as it was, there was no steam; there was just the water.

Chloe wasn't openly hysterical. She was withdrawn, the hysteria bubbling just under the surface.

"Chloe?" Scott asked anxiously. "What happened?"

"I don't know, I don't remember," Chloe said, her voice quietly high-pitched. "What happened? I'm wet? Why am I wet?"

"It's okay, honey," TJ said softly. "We'll get you back to the ship."

Scott was concentrating on Chloe all the way and didn't even remember seeing Rush at all until they had arrived back on Destiny. Everyone fussed over Chloe and Scott turning his head to make sure everyone had returned paused as he saw Rush, his head down, walking out of the gateroom. Aside from Riley, no one else was in the gateroom. Not Volker, none of the science team. It nagged at Scott for a moment and then he forgot about Rush.

Chloe didn't break down, she didn't cry. Like Rush, she kept coughing up water as if she'd nearly drowned. TJ said quietly that she would keep Chloe overnight and began shooing people away, Young included. Eli hovered. She told him to go, too. He did but not without protest.

Scott turned as a throat cleared.

"Leave Rush behind, did you?" Volker asked.

His voice was pleasant but there was an edge to it. Brody was with him.

"Of course, we damn well didn't," Scott snapped. God, that sounded so defensive. Like no one bothered to check if Rush was all right and then he reminded himself, no one had. "Haven't you seen him?"

"When I got back we were ordered to our quarters," Volker said. "And just in case we got naughty, some of you guys were there to keep us in check."

This time Scott caught the anger in his voice and he winced. He couldn't fault the sense of the order to stay away from the gateroom but at times they forgot how prima donna-ish the civilians could be.

"In case something happened," he decided to say reasonably. "Which it did."

"And that was?" Brody asked.

"We don't know," TJ said. "Look, we were just going to check on him."

"Sure," said Brody in a noncommittal voice, one that could have meant an agreement or that, more likely, he thought TJ had just made it up.

"We were just going to his quarters," Scott said firmly. "Would you prefer to check on him?"

"Why don't we come with you," Brody said.

Yeah, because a whole bunch of people descending on the most anti-social person Scott had ever met would go down really well. He put a doubtful look on his face and Volker said, "I'll go; I was there on the planet."

"Fine, fine," said Scott impatiently. "Let's go then."

They tried Rush's quarters first. There was no response. Scott bit his lip and opened the door. Rush wasn't there. A pile of wet clothes lay in the corner, jumbled. Scott regarded them with disquiet. They shouldn't still be soaking.

They found Rush in the control interface room. He was wearing his regular clothes, his hair slicked back still wet. He was flicking through screens, concentrating. He didn't acknowledge them at all. Eli was at the opposite console; he made a face at Scott.

Volker said, "You okay, Dr Rush?"

Rush didn't look up. He just said, "Why wouldn't I be?"

His tone was brisk and dismissive. Scott glanced upwards to see a kino in the corner.

TJ said in her kind voice, "You were unconscious when we found you, so maybe it would be better …"

Rush cut her off politely. "I'm fine, thank you, Lieutenant."

"So, you're okay," said Scott.

"Well, I am fast becoming irritated," Rush said snidely.

"Okay then," said Scott immediately annoyed himself. "Sorry for expressing any concern."

Rush gave a disbelieving snort that Scott had even thought of being concerned.

Eli made jerky "go" gestures with his head. Scott backed out of the room, TJ and Volker with him. Eli followed them down the corridor.

"Look, he's really shitty," Eli whispered. "I asked him if he was okay and he nearly bit my head off."

"Did he say if he remembered anything?" TJ asked.

"Nope," Eli said. "I asked what happened and he just clammed up. Said if I was just going to yap"—he imitated the hand gesture Rush must have made—"I could go piss someone else off."

"Nice," said Scott exasperated. "Fine, I'm going back to the infirmary to sit with Chloe."

Volker said he'd go report back to the scientists that their leader was his usual self. Scott didn't correct him on the "leader" bit. TJ said she'd come back with Scott. Eli asked if Chloe was okay.

"She just needs to rest," TJ said. "She's not going to be able to do that with loads of people around."

"There in a minute," Scott said abruptly. "Uh, I forgot, I had to go see the Colonel. Eli, you want to sit with Chloe for a while?"

Eli brightened and said, aiming for casual, "Sure, man."

Volker headed off as did TJ and Eli. Scott waited until the corridor was empty.

Not once had Rush looked up at them.

Scott quietly made his way back to the control interface room. As he got closer he could hear a hacking cough. He tried not to be seen as he glanced around the corner. Rush was bent over, coughing. There was water on the floor. Rush straightened, breathing heavily, holding onto the console. He pushed himself away and walked out slowly, holding the wall as he went. Even though they only had access to a small part of the ship there were still various ways of getting around. Most people took the shortest routes. Rush made his way back to his quarters by the most circuitous route. The least likely to run into anyone route. Scott followed him. He got to Rush's room just as the lock was engaged, the sound abrupt and final. He hovered, wondering whether to knock.

Finally, he decided not to. If Rush wanted to talk, he would.

Of course, Rush never did and after a while, Scott just forgot that anything had happened to him.

And after a while, Scott learned not to say anything to Chloe, too. She clammed up every time he tried to talk about it. He asked her what she remembered.

Nothing.

He asked her if she'd seen Rush.

No response.

Everyone else on the ship was told that something had happened on the planet. Not what happened, just that something had. They couldn't tell anyone what happened because they didn't know what happened. Sympathy went no deeper than the surface. No one noticed except for Scott and Eli that Chloe didn't want to talk. Eli tried to jolly her and it seemed to work. She became cheerful in company though she was much quieter when they were alone. And increasingly, she wouldn't stay with him at night.

And then he noticed something else.

Whenever Rush came into the same room as Chloe she would leave. Not right away, not so anyone who wasn't watching her would notice. She'd make some light excuse but she did always leave. They hadn't been found in the same place and Rush had claimed that he was fine, that he couldn't remember anything, but still, Scott wondered if they had seen each other. Or worse. Let your imagination run wild, he thought; you're an idiot Matthew Scott he told himself. Nothing made sense. Scott didn't know what to do so he began watching Rush, too.

Leaving went two ways.

Rush was always late: to meetings, for meals, for anything. Scott always figured that it was because he got too involved in his work. The obsessive scientist. But when he came into a room where Chloe was he'd back out. And then there was the silence. Rush had never been a social creature but he stopped looking at people, he stopped talking, and he spent most of his time in his quarters when he wasn't working. Even Colonel Young noticed. Rush stopped arguing.

Then there was the water.

The showers didn't really use too much water. It was a mist that beaded up but it had to come from the water supply in the first place. When Brody reported something amiss with the pipes, they met him outside the showers.

"Right," Young said briskly. "What happened?"

"They're old pipes," Brody said. "We've been checking them along with everything else but it takes time. There's probably hundreds of miles of pipes on Destiny."

"Where's Rush?" Young said.

"Control room?" said Volker, guessing.

Young rolled his eyes.

"Rush, this is Young, come in," he said into his radio. There was no answer. "Rush."

"Yes," said Rush's voice quietly.

"We have a problem with one of the shower room pipes," Young said. "Why aren't you here?"

"Colonel, I'm not a plumber, said Rush.

It was the most Scott had heard him say for a long time.

"Get down here," Young ordered, annoyed.

Rush arrived and folded his arms. Brody explained what happened to the pipes. Rush shrugged indifferently.

"So, fix it," he said.

"You could help, Rush," Young said.

"As I said, Colonel, I'm not a plumber," Rush said.

Scott suddenly noticed that Rush's face looked sharply planed these days. He'd lost weight. He still didn't look at anyone. Instead of speaking directly to the Colonel Rush seemed to be addressing someone over his shoulder.

There was a clanking along the wall and a popping sound. Brody removed one of the wall panels and shone a torch inside.

"It could just be water hammer," he said. "Maybe a blockage somewhere." He banged the pipe and casually handed the torch back to Rush. "Take a look."

Rush gave him a blank look and obligingly stuck the torch in the wall as the clanking happened again. This time the pop was louder and Rush stepped backwards just as the pipe burst, showering everyone with water. Brody shouted into the radio for the water to be switched off along the corridor. It only took a couple of seconds before it stopped. Everyone started laughing as they shook off the water.

Except for Rush. He was soaked. He stood there, his shoulders up around his neck, his hands out from his sides, looking down at the floor. A tinge of uneasiness flickered into Scott's brain. He stepped forward to ask Rush if he was all right when there was a gasp behind him. He whipped around to see Chloe, frozen, staring at Rush in terror. Scott glanced back at Rush. He had looked up to see Chloe. His head went back down and he walked off. Chloe flinched out of his way. Scott went over to her immediately and took her hands. No one else noticed; they were too busy laughing about getting wet.

"Are you okay?" Scott asked Chloe in a low voice.

"Yes, of course," she said. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Rush had said that.

"Chloe …" Scott said.

"I'm fine, Matt," she said pulling away. "You're wet, go dry off."

He held out his hand again.

"Chloe, please," he said.

"I said I'm fine," she said dismissively.

She walked away. Unlike Rush, her head was held high, but Scott didn't take this as a sign that she was all right. Chloe was a good actress.

He didn't see Rush except for weeks in passing. The man became even gaunter. He barely spoke; he barely looked at anyone. Chloe seemed to go back to normal; everything seemed to return to normal.

Even so, when Destiny stopped at yet another planet and Chloe asked if she could go, Scott made his objections heard. Chloe waved him off.

"Colonel, please, I want to go," she said. "I feel so useless around here."

Young examined her carefully.

"You had a bad experience last time," he said.

"I got a bit wet, that's all," she said. "I can't remember a thing, Colonel. Believe me, I'm fine."

"Okay then," he said. "Keep an eye on her, Lieutenant."

"Sir," Scott said unhappily.

"She can stay with me, Matt," TJ murmured.

Her sharp eyes didn't miss anything. Scott caught her watching Rush who had just entered the gateroom. It was probably the first time he and Chloe had been in the same place together since the pipe had burst. He took no notice of her; she took no notice of him.

It seemed like a nice enough planet. It was a little cloudy with a slight breeze. Everyone walked along chatting. Not Rush, of course, he followed behind silently. Greer kept glancing at Chloe. He hadn't said anything but Scott knew he had his doubts.

When the weather turned it was sudden and ugly. The rain fell down without warning in neverending sheets. Greer shouted that he could see an overhanging rock ahead that would shelter them for a while at least. It was high and dry. He turned to tell Chloe but she wasn't there. He peered back through the downpour.

Chloe was frozen, her arms stiff by her sides, her hands clenched. He went back to her and shook her slightly.

"Chloe?" He shouted above the thunderous noise of the rain. "Greer says there's some shelter ahead."

She didn't respond, her eyes wide, her mouth shut firmly as if she didn't want to say anything in case the water fell in. TJ sloshed back to them, the water dripping from her cap.

"Chloe should go back to the ship," she called.

Matt bellowed, "The shelter Greer spotted is closer."

TJ shook her head and Chloe jumped as the drops flew into her face. TJ patted her arm in comfort.

"I'll go with her," TJ said. She looked behind Chloe and said, "Dr Rush can take us."

No, no, no, no. Scott objected immediately and said he could take Chloe back to the ship but TJ called, "Dr Rush, will you help us back to Destiny?"

As the wind dropped for a few seconds, the sound of disgust Scott made carried. TJ glared at him but Rush took no notice. Rush's hair was plastered across his face but he made no move to brush it away. He held his hands as if he had tried to clench them but couldn't, his fingers curled just slightly. He was expressionless and stiff. Rush acknowledged TJ but his head only shifted a fraction, barely able to nod.

TJ pulled Chloe's arm and said, "Come on, Chloe, let's get you back to Destiny and into something dry."

Scott watched as Rush led them to the gate. He sloshed back to the rest of the party and shouted that they may as well return to the ship. As they arrived on Destiny, Colonel Young was waiting.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Nothing, sir," Scott said. "It just started raining heavily. We couldn't see anything. If there was anything to find, we probably wouldn't have been able to see it."

He said nothing about Chloe or Rush's reaction to the rain. Young told him to dry off and he did so quickly and hurried to the infirmary. He slowed as he heard Chloe and TJ talking.

"You need to talk to someone, Chloe," TJ said gently.

"I don't want to talk to Matt," Chloe said, her voice rising.

He winced as he heard the histrionic note in her voice. Maybe he wouldn't understand what had happened to her but he could listen, just as he'd listened when her father died.

"Okay, okay," TJ said hastily soothing. "Not Matt. You know you can talk to me. Even Colonel Young …"

If she weren't prepared to talk to him, she'd never talk to Young.

Chloe said abruptly, "Thanks, TJ." There was a pause and she said more gratefully, "I might get some sleep."

He stepped back into Destiny's shadows as she left and went into the infirmary.

"TJ?" he whispered.

She shook her head.

"She won't say what happened, Matt," TJ said. "I don't even know if she remembers. It's something about the water."

"I'm going to see if she's okay," Scott said.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea," TJ said in warning. "She didn't want to talk to you."

"I'll go to her quarters," Scott said.

"I don't think she'll be there," TJ said. She bit her lip and said reluctantly, "I think you should look for Dr Rush."

"Rush?" Scott asked surprised. "TJ, he talks even less than Chloe does, even if he does remember what happened."

TJ said carefully, "I think she'll try to find him."

"Find him," Scott said stupidly.

She held out her hand in sympathy.

"He's the only person who will understand," TJ said. "Haven't you noticed?"

He nodded numbly. He had noticed; he just hadn't put it together.

"Go," she said.

Rush wasn't in the control interface room or the observation deck and the chair room was inaccessible because of the guard. Scott went to Rush's quarters and knocked. There was no answer so he opened the door. Rush wasn't there either. A pile of wet clothes lay on the floor, just as they had last time.

Scott knew that Chloe sometimes went to the shuttle and sat outside the locked door when she was upset so he made his way there. He caught a glimpse of her and hurried. He stopped when he heard Rush's voice. There was a spark of anger that Rush was in this place of all places.

Rush's voice was quiet, as if the effort of speaking was too hard for him.

"I thought you might come here," he said.

Scott moved forward slightly so he could see them, still in shadow. Chloe moved out of the way and he could see Rush sitting against the wall outside the closed door. Rush radiated exhaustion and tension despite the blankness of his expression. Holding everything back, as though he'd not slept for months, gaunt, about to break. Chloe sat down next to him, in close.

Despite the whisper, Scott could hear Chloe say, "It's the water."

Rush nodded, but didn't look at her. His gaze remained on his hands, loosely folded on his knees. Chloe sounded like she was close to tears.

"I'm so tired," she said. "I can't sleep most of the time but if I do I wake up and I can't breath because of the water. Like I'm drowning all the time."

Rush's head turned to her just slightly and his fingers curled. Reminded of the water.

Chloe took his hand and after a moment, Rush's fingers entwined with hers. He didn't say anything but Chloe leaned in and put her head on his shoulder. Both of them sat in silence.

Matt Scott leaned back into the wall and waited.

_FINIS_

_

* * *

Dammit, she still didn't explain the water!_


End file.
